priorities

A woman that can make a good fried chicken.

A woman with dual citizenship.

But not necessarily in that order.

Amy Poehler : comedy :: Ayn Rand : philosophy

If this band says they're Canadian, I can say I'm from Mexico

fears

Being in a room with more animals than people.

for my enjoyment

Multicolored Christmas lights in backyards year round

Snow covered cactus

Rocks that weigh the same as baseballs

Telling people I might be rolling with, "We're cool, I have a knife"

Fly fishing by casting up river on the banks, rather than in the water

High visibility (meteorologic)

Well planned layovers in Vegas when flying between Texas and California

Lighting cigarettes with the stove

jobs with 'upside'

professional contest applicant

plumber

you know what's funny

Ambien parties

Pauly Shore on Comics Unleashed, hosted by Byron Allen

Plautus' The Braggart Soldier

The Ladies Man 2

Paul Byrd next to OJ's lawyer at press conference

best nickname for people you went to high school with

Loser Dan

Willy the Insomniac

The Thirty Year Old Man

short term goals

trying to say two sentences simultaneously


incorporating "merry christmas" in casual conversation when someone does something dumb


build friendships with more minorities

you know what's funny

drunk girls
the color orange
fake laughing
travis henry
the slowskys
FOX network comedies
unemployment